Only Dogs Can Hear: The ultimate 'Facebook Friday' catch-up post

Let's just pretend I've been posting all along. That way there's no need to discuss the very close to a year gap in posts here where only dogs can hear me talk to myself. Right? Great.

Since the last update I learned French and moved to Malawi. Here, in Malawi, I live in a big house with a big garden. You could very nearly fit my DC apartment in this house about 7 times...I think. There is this one very odd feature though. There is a random foundation behind the house. As though there was meant to be another 500 sq. ft. addition that was just never finished. I found out this week that it is in fact the foundation for a tabacco drying shed that previous tenants erected to, that's right, dry the burley tobacco they grew here in the garden. I guess we're smallholders now, although we won't be cultivating burley tobacco.

There are lots of facebook updates that I've been saving up for this post. I hope you enjoy. (Also, I hope you know that burley tobacco is both Malawi's most important export and soon to be banned as an additive to cigarettes by Canada. Pretty ballsy Canada.)

Jenn is thinking, seriously, somebody just called and asked me how to donate their breastmilk to Haiti. I couldn't make this up if I wanted to.
Alison: Mondays...Proudly brought to you by the same people who brought you 6 a.m., that piece of hair in your scrambled eggs, and court dates...
Greg just learned that "powned" is a word. Thank you nineteen-year-olds.
Becky was thinking about this this morning: "If Annuale is right for you, go to the store, buy a hat, and get ready to hold the fuck on to it."
Fran already uses BigSight, Blogger, Facebook, Flickr, Google Alerts, Google Reader, LinkedIn, Twitter, Tweet Beep, Tweet Deck, UberTwitter and WordPress for both work and home and isn't using Google Buzz. Sorry. Unh uh. Nope.
Pat is pretty sure the E-Trade baby, were he a real boy, could look forward to a lifetime of well-deserved playground beatdowns.
Danielle thinks colored Easter basket grass is the bastard cousin of Christmas tree tinsel...why is celebrating Jesus so messy.
Val: Dear 'Angry at Life' guy, if you don't feel like making a rational point now, I will be happy to wait 5-7 days when you are done with your period. Might I suggest a heating pad and some Midol?

Have a great week!