Only Dogs Can Hear

Facebook Friday

After such an oddly unplanned absence, here I am back again bringing you Facebook Friday!  I can only imagine how much you have (not) missed it.  Before I get on with it though, can you believe K is going to Darjeeling for the summer?!  Lucky man that one.  Sigh.  Maybe the stars will align and I'll figure out a way to go visit him.  And we'll head overland to Bhutan.  Yes, that is definitely the plan.

Here's your weekly dose of weirdness from my facebook friends!

1. Tess is watching Law and Order: CI, Law and Order: SVU, and then Law and Order.  I knew I moved back to this country for a reason.
2. Meg thinks this "Easy" Healthy Cookbook can kiss my ass when it starts asking for ingredients like orange blossom water, pine kernals and handfuls of young nettles.  Blow me.
3. Jeff thinks Quicken Loans Arena is a stupid name for an arena.  I Can't Believe It's Not Buter Arena would be far better.
4. Cindy has 3 words for today: Birth Control Pill.
5. Ned thinks that guy's choice in facial hair alone warranted termination.
6. Sam is off to Dallas for a wedding reception, Rangers game, and to uncover who really killed JFK.  Should be a busy weekend.

Hope your weekend isn't too busy!  Have a good one.

Unisex

Some venues are better suited to the disproportionately female crowd at an Indigo Girls' concert than others.  The theater itself was great...but an even number of men's and women's toilets just doesn't make sense.  Last night, one of the men's rooms quickly became a unisex room to help the long lines of full bladdered ladies move faster.  

I decided to use the unisex option just before the Indigo Girls took the stage.  So there I was, waiting in this ridiculous line for one of three stalls in what was usually a men's room with a long row of perfectly pristine looking urinals standing completely under-utilized along the opposite wall.  I looked at the woman behind me, gestured to the urinals and said, "I'm really tempted..."  She said, "What the hell?" 

Using the urinal did result in a little stage fright due to the staring audience.  In my defense, I was pretty exposed.  In the end, though, it was totally satisfying not only because I jumped the line without (pardon the pun) pissing anyone off, but when we pulled our pants up to leave, every woman in that line applauded.   

Facebook Friday

Really late.  Yes I know.  Friday was impossible: huge work thing followed by big yoga thing and of course the Star Trek movie.  Then the weekend was a blur of constant activity.  I was also oddly weepy on Sunday.  I watched tv on Hulu and cried at pretty much every show I saw.  That can't be good.  In any case, I'm feeling much better and have finally made it back to my office where I keep my little list of status updates. 

Enjoy Facebook Friday.  Even though it's Monday.  And a couple of these are just weird.

1. Allie is trying to find the humor in this!  God, is this a joke?  No matter what you do right , there will always be a manipulative overpaid under-qualified woman behind your demise.
2. Jake wishes his Spanish speaking friends had informed him Cinco de Mayo falls on the 5th this year.
3. Maggie thinks she is much bitchier now than she ever could have been in HS;-)
4. Kate says "Witty Facebook Status Updates are on back order.  We apologize for the inconvenience.  Please take a rain check and thank you for shopping Facebook." 
5. Lila thinks Paraguay is so far away from God and too close to Brazil.
6. Eddie thinks sometimes eating cheese is the only solution.
7. Bob thinks that when the ticketing agent asks you, "Are you on yesterday's flight, or today's?", it is never a good thing.

Have a great week!

Plinky saves the day again by asking me to rearrange global geography for my convenience and entertainment

It would be so wonderful if my parents and K's parents lived just a town away from eachother. Visiting would be so much easier. We'd get to see both sides of the family more often. They'd get to see us more often. They'd get to hang out together and argue over who has the cutest grandchildren. Bliss.

Plus...let's be honest...Grand Rapids could use a little diversity. Close proximity to San Antonio might decrease the preponderance of blond-haired, blue-eyed, Dutch reformed, Van Vandervans that pretty much own the west side of Michigan. I'm convinced it would, at the very least, be a fascinating social experiment.

Alternatively we could relocate Kandahar, Afghanistan right next to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. This should be done just around the time of Carnival. I think that would be completely hilarious. For obvious reasons.

Recently Plinky got all nosey about my go to "broke meal"

I still occasionally crave it, even though it sounds pretty bad:

When I was a student in Australia, I hit a rough patch. And by rough I mean I lived on about $40 (Australian dollars were not worth very much back in 1997) for a month or so. It was in the middle of the summer holidays and I wasn't allowed to work when I wasn't also enrolled in courses at the university. Man was I stressed when I saw my bank account.

I still had to eat though. So I bought a big bag of rice and an industrial sized bottle of ketchup. And yes, I lived on rice and ketchup for weeks. Fills you up. Has some semblance of flavor. Dirt cheap when considered on a per meal basis. Didn't you know that Reagan classified ketchup a vegetable for the purposes of school lunches back in the eighties? I was being healthy people!

During this period I also spent one night on a couch in a hotel lobby. It seemed like a good idea at the time.  Especially since I had spent the night before on the couch on someone's front porch.  Which seemed like less of a good idea.  Neither night was particularly restful.

Time to redefine freedom

It has been worrying me for a long time now that somehow American politicians have successfully twisted the word freedom to mean little to no social safety net and little to no responsibility for the wellbeing our neighbors.  And that such a situation is desireable.  And as a result have managed over the past couple of decades to systematically strip away safety net programs.  While continuing to get elected by the people who are suffering as a direct result of those cuts. 

How is it that a majority of Americans are uncomfortable with the mere idea of a society that, in a very civilized manner, wouldn't want to see widespread poverty and would want every man, woman and child to have access to healthcare?  I'm always stunned when so many people vote directly in opposition to their best interests.  The very wealthy in this country just keep getting better and better at convincing the average citizen that social programs are bad.  Still a bunch of old aristocratic white men who don't want to pay their taxes.

I sincerely believe that none of us are free when so many of us don't know where our next meal is coming from.  I don't feel free.  I bet that most Americans living below the poverty line don't feel free either. 

“My American friends say they live in the best country in the world, and in a lot of ways they are right. But they always have to worry: ‘What happens to my family if I have a heart attack?  What happens when I turn 65 or 70?’ America is the land of the free. But I think we are freer.”

Facebook Friday

It's Friday again and I'm looking forward to another yoga-full weekend.  I love these intensive weekends of practice, meditation and study.  I've really started to feel lucky to have had these months with my teacher and this particular community of practice!  I've also been working on designing a new class (tormented one of my friends with it yesterday), and will get feedback on it this weekend.  Wish me luck!

Two of this week's updates are from one of my most prolific facebook status updating friends.  I have given her the same fake name for both entries.  Enjoy Facebook Friday!

1. Amanda found out Playboy's Women of Wall Street actually did work on Wall Street...and not as Escorts.  Fascinating.
2. Lynne has eggs in the fridge from Polyface Farms, the farming utopia from Omnivore's Dilemma.  Though they are ideal for eggs, they are still very scary...being eggs and all.  I've really got it in for eggs.
3. Amanda says it's 92 degrees outside with a 100% chance of me turning on my central air.
4. Sandy thought her freak magnet wouldn't work in DC, but managed to attract Arlen Specter to the Dems.  It's working!!!
5. Melissa notices that goth teens are timeless.  Their dark eyeliner, black clothing, and piercings never go out of style.
6. Elise think the Latin name Phoenix Dactylifera sounds way more like a Fire Dinosaur than a date palm...

Have a great weekend!